Binge

I do not know why I do it,

I fill my mouth quick,

Force myself to chew it.

I think I am sick.

Numb, when I swallow,

I convince myself that if I am physically full,

I won't feel so profoundly hollow.

Quickly, comes the feeling,

The "I feel so icky". 

Regret comes quicker too,

How many nights have I wanted to puke?

I swirl around like a storm, the back and forth.

Sometimes I can't eat the first course,

Other times my brain screams "More, more, more!"

My relationship with food is so poor.

I think they call it binging,

When your sadness keeps meeting,

You in the kitchen, unable to stop eating.

My self-esteem I am beating.